Beauty in the Breakdown
by dark-charmer.xo
Summary: SS x OC She was the beauty and he was the beast. She was the rose and he was the thorns. All she wanted was his love and he pushed her away. Now she would do anything to prove her love. Even if that meant risking her life. Full Summary Inside
1. Prologue

_I was the beauty and he was the beast. I was the rose and he was the thorn. I love him with all of my heart but he wanted to push me away. Now I would follow him into the darkness, hoping he would give me a glance._

**Summary**

_A beautiful girl with a secret she needed to keep. Who would ever accept that Katharine Keeler was in love with Severus Snape? Not her friends and especially not her a year of passion and romance he pushes her away and instead of running away she follows him to the darkest part of his life. She wants to be with him, she wants him to love her and she would do anything for him. Even if that meant risking her own life._

**: **So I have had this idea for awhile and actually decided to start writing it! This will be a Severus x OC story but might change depending on which way I decide to go with this story. But for now I hope you enjoy the prologue!

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I felt his eyes on my back; I could feel that he was silently cursing me in his head. Still I didn't turn and run away, I didn't beg for them to let me go. I had to do this.

No I** needed** to do this.

"Katharine Keeler," the smooth voice called from the shadows. "Do you give yourself to the Dark Lord? Do you agree to be his humble servant? Do you agree to do as he wishes?"

I felt an urge to look behind me; I wanted to know what he was thinking. I wanted to know what he was feeling.

Did he feel responsible for this? Did he blame himself?

"I do." I replied.

The man stepped out of the shadows; his white blond hair hung down to his waist and his pale eyes peered into my soul. Lucius Malfoy gave me a smirk that, only a man who knew something that you didn't, would wear.

"Hold out your arm."

I let my pale arm slip out from my long sleeve, black cotton top and Lucius grabbed it, turning my hand so my wrist was showing to him. Another smirk formed on his lips.

I closed my eyes, expecting a great pain to happen to my arm but instead I felt myself being pulled away causing my eyes to shoot open.

"What's going on?" I demanded when Lucius had pulled me away from the group and towards the stairs.

"Now, now my dear surely you were informed about what happens before you receive the mark of the Dark Lord."

We began up the stairs and I shook my wrist away.

"I can walk by myself," I hissed at him. "But no I was not told. What is going on?"

He chuckled. "Somebody has quiet the attitude."

He lead me into a room and I heard the door behind me being shut and locked. I turned to him; his arms were now crossed and his smirk was even wider now. He was waiting for me to say something. Maybe for me to question what was going on.

"You still haven't answered my question Malfoy."

He took a step towards me, the smirk had left his face. Before I knew was happening he had advanced on me until I backed into a desk; he grabbed my hair and twisted me around then pinned me down so my cheek was pressed up against the top of the desk and my back was perfectly flat.

"I expect you to call me Lucius during this my dear."

"I don't…"

He pressed himself into my backside and I felt him. Now I understood what was happening. My gift to the Death Eaters, my thanks for letting me into their elite group was to fuck one of them.

"No…" I whispered.

He didn't stop; he let go of my hair and ran his hand down my back. His other hand snaked around my waist and went to the button my black dress pants.

"Get the hell off of me!" I squirmed underneath him but he was too strong.

When it was over he let me fall to the ground with my clothes bunched in my arms; I wiped the tears from my eyes hoping that he didn't see. He reached down and tucked my hair behind my ear.

"The Dark Lord will be there when you get back downstairs. Don't waste too much time." His voice was cold, unemotional. He didn't care what he had done.

Without another word he left me by myself.

I glanced up from the floor and caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror that sat in the room; my dark hair that had been flat and straight when I arrived was now all over the place and my eyes that people would normally tell me were bright and lively were now just merely a dull green.

I slipped my clothes back on and fixed my hair as best as I could then headed back down the stairs.

I was greeted by the roomful of Death Eaters that had watched me leave except this time I found myself face to face with Voldemort. I was a little surprised at his appearance; he didn't look like a man.

More like a snake.

"My Lord." I bowed my head, not wanting to look him in the eye.

"Well, well, well never the day did I expect to see the great Evangeline Keeler's daughter standing before me." he said to me.

I kept my head down.

"You may look up."

I raised my eyes and met his; the were evil and cold. I didn't want to look anymore but I knew I couldn't look away. I knew he wanted to look me in the eye when I answered to him.

"I have been told that you have done well with the task you were given."

I felt the urge to shudder at the thought; my _'task_' made it sound like I has chosen to go upstairs with Lucius and that I choose to have sex with him. Obviously he liked the fact that he had power over me or else I have a feeling I wouldn't be told that I had done well.

Or at least I wouldn't be alive for much longer. Somehow I got the feeling that wasn't going to happen.

"Hold out your arm."

I felt slightly apprehensive at the command but I did as I was told.

He drew his wand out and pointed it at my wrist. This time I knew for sure what was going to happen. I didn't dare close my eyes because I knew he would want to look me in the eye. He would want to see the pain on my face.

A pain shot threw my whole body and I couldn't help but let out a loud, painful scream.

I caught him looking at me; at first glance he looked emotionless but something was off in his eyes. He looked almost…guilty.

It was hard to believe only a few years back I was waking up in his arms, telling him that I wished the night hadn't ended.

I was so naïve and happy then and now I just wanted so badly for him to notice me. To be in his arms again.

I know what they would think if the new the truth, my family and my friends. They would wonder how a nice girl like me wound up with a man like him. They would assume that he took advantage of me or something like that.

But the truth was I loved Severus Snape and nothing was going to change that.

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**:** I hope you like it! Please review and tell me what you thought!


	2. Chapter One

_I was the beauty and he was the beast. I was the rose and he was the thorn. I love him with all of my heart but he wanted to push me away. Now I would follow him into the darkness, hoping he would give me a glance._

**Summary**

_A beautiful girl with a secret she needed to keep. Who would ever accept that Katharine Keeler was in love with Severus Snape? Not her friends and especially not her mother. After a year of passion and romance he pushes her away and instead of running she follows him to the darkest part of his life. She wants to be with him, she wants him to love her and she would do anything for him. Even if that meant risking her own life._

**Dark Charmer . xo :** thanks to all who have been reading! This isn't the greatest but I hate beginning stories! I always prefer writing the drama out but then again who doesn't? Please review/alert/favourite because I greatly appreciate it!

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There was something about teaching that made me want to smile; thrusting your knowledge upon others gave me somewhat of an powering feeling. That was something I wasn't use to getting in my younger years.

I had always been the quiet girl. The Ravenclaw who let her hair hang in her face; only pulling it back when working on her potions.

I loved potions class. I loved being able to help people.

It also gave me the powering feeling.

After graduating from Hogwarts I headed to a teaching school, hoping I would be able to learn a few things. Then after graduating there Dumbledore invited me back to Hogwarts. I was to be a potions apprentice under Professor Snape.

At first I was sitting in the corner or in the back, cleaning cauldrons or cutting up things, only getting a break when students would get detention. But then he would hand me off papers to grade and I loved it.

I never expected to love him though. Not in a million years.

I had only been taught by Snape in the seventh year when he first began to teach. He wasn't the nicest teacher in the world but he knew what he was talking about. I had already loved potions but when he taught I began to love them even more.

I was a top student and maybe that's why he accepted me as his apprentice. I can never really be sure.

Snape was never that cruel to his students and he was never that angry until the year that Harry Potter stepped through the doors of Hogwarts. That was the year when things began to change.

In more ways then one.

It had only been a month since he began to teach Harry but already I could tell he was on the edge. I had been helping him for two years and working with someone for that long you really begin to notice these things.

"Sir," I started when the students had cleared the room. "Are you alright?"

He snapped his head towards me and there was a glare in his eyes. "I'm fine Keeler!"

I crossed my arms and bit down on my lip; for as long as I had been helping him, he still referred to me as if I was his student and not his equal.

"It's Katharine." I told him simply.

He looked at me again from his paperwork like he had no idea what I was talking about; his eyebrow was raised.

"Excuse me?"

"My name," I began. "is Katharine and I would appreciate it if you talked to me as your equal. I am not a student here anymore and I don't like being treated like one."

He look back down at his papers then back at me and then he began to mark his papers again; it was like nothing I had said even took a tool on him. But still I stood waiting for a reply. When he said nothing I began to tap my foot impatiently.

"Fine Katharine, you may leave for the day."

Believe it or not he actually began to call me by my name well besides when we were in front of students. Then I was referred to as Miss Keeler but then I found it was acceptable and thought nothing else of it.

The rest of the year went like that; there was no change other then him actually treating me like a person rather then a lump of dust on the floor.

The next year we actually chatted about things, mostly potions but it was still something.

I don't know when I actually started to want to be with him, it really just happened out of the blue. I found him attractive and I had caught him glancing my way a few times. It made me feel like a school girl who had a crush on her teacher.

I wanted him but I knew that in a million years that it would never happen.

Or at least I thought it would never happen.

I actually considered him a friend into the next two years and I also made a new one; Remus Lupin. He was handsome and charming and very kind to me. But he saw right through me and my denial.

"Severus and I are merely friends." I told him flatly.

"I don't doubt that my dear. But what I do doubt is you saying you don't want to be more. You're a very attractive woman and I am sure he wouldn't turn you down." Remus replied quietly.

We had been in his office after classes; a routine I had gotten myself into from the beginning of the year. I always found that he would listen to what I had to say, no matter how ridiculous it was. He was a good man and I knew that.

"I didn't say I didn't want more," I blushed at my own words and kept my head down. "But even if I am 'attractive' as you say, that does not mean he is interesting. Severus likes to keep to himself and I know that." I explained.

"My dear," I looked up at him and stared into his eyes. "There is no harm trying."

I took his advice and headed down to Severus's office; I didn't know why I was doing it. Maybe Remus gave me the confidence I needed to actually do something as bold as this.

I knocked on the door to his office but got no response so I check the classroom.

Harry Potter and Ron Wesley sat on the floor scrubbing cauldrons and I suddenly remembered that Severus had in fact given the two detention for being 'smart asses' as he put it.

I walked into the classroom and they looked up at me briefly but, when I looked towards them, they turned their heads away quickly so I wouldn't catch them glancing. I smiled and laughed silently in my head. They were probably afraid of Severus catching them looking at me instead of proceeding with their punishment.

"Sever…Professor Snape." I corrected myself; their were students in the room and I still wanted to appear professional.

"Yes Miss Keeler." he didn't even glance up from his paper work.

"I was wondering if I could have a word in private."

That got his attention; he looked up and I nodded towards the two boys as to say it was something their ears shouldn't hear. He got up from his desk and lead me into his office and then shut the door.

"Katharine." he said.

"I wanted to know if you wanted to go get a drink at the Hog's Head tonight." I told him simply.

"What?" he looked at me like I had killed someone.

"If you are wondering why it is because I think it would be nice to go out and have a good time." I shrugged my shoulders. "We are friends it really doesn't have to mean anything," he looked a little calmer now.

"But that doesn't mean it can't." He tensed up slightly again.

I waited for reply. It felt like hours but it was only a few seconds; my mind was racing.

Would he accept or reject me? Did he want to or would he accept only because he felt like he had too?

"I suppose it would be acceptable." he finally said.

"Okay so I will meet you at the Hog's Head at seven?" I asked trying to keep my excitement down.

"I suppose that would be fine."

"See you then!"

I ran out of his office door that lead into the hallway; I couldn't believe that he accepted the offer. Of course he would only see it as friends having drinks but who knows what could happen. I didn't want to over excite myself but I couldn't help it.

Finally things were starting to look my way.

* * *

I wore a simple black dress the bar and it got me some stares but I really didn't mind. When I would walk around with my mother when I was younger people would stare at her; my mother was a beautiful woman. People say I looked almost identical to her aside from my hair color and my eyes.

It was almost like a ying and yang kind of thing; she had pale blond hair and dark, almost black eyes and as far me, I was dark haired and pale eyed. I never knew my father but I knew if I ever did meet him, he would have dark hair and light eyes like me.

"Hey there Severus!" the bar tender yelled towards the door. "Didn't expect you here on a school night!" he chuckled.

I turned my head and smile brightly when I saw Severus walk through the door; he was wearing his normal black pants but instead of a black robe he wore a simple black, long sleeve shirt. I was surprised; I had expecting him to wear his robes.

Maybe he did see this as a date.

"Katharine." he greeted while sitting down next to me.

"Severus," I took a sip of my drink that I had ordered when I first arrive. "I didn't expect you to dress up and just for me? Well I am honoured."

I watched at his lips formed into a small smirk; he found that amusing.

"What can I get you Severus?" the bartender asked while taking a quick look at me.

"The usually." he replied simply.

"Okay and another drink for the lady?"

I picked up my glass and downed the rest of my drink; I reminded myself never to do that again. I tried not to make a face and instead smile at the bartender. "Sure. Another drink would be great."

There was a silence between us, Severus and I that is, that lasted until our drinks came; suddenly my confidence was going down the drain. We sipped our drinks in silence and it wasn't until he was asking for another drink did his voice escape his lips.

I needed to say something, anything so that I didn't look like a total idiot.

"So what made you want to meet me tonight?"

He looked at me with no emotion; it was like he forgot I was still sitting there. He looked back down at his drink and took another sip before answering me. The answer he gave me was something that threw me off guard.

"You were nervous and I was curious why you would be nervous when asking a friend out for a simple drink." he gave me a smirk.

He was making fun of me.

"Bastard." I muttered under my breath.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing." I said quickly while taking another sip of my drink; at least we were talking more then I expected. I really thought that we would just be sitting there only drinking which, at first, that's all we were doing.

We finished our drinks and ordered some more; everything was becoming cloudier and cloudier with every drink I drank. I really didn't want a bad hangover the next day but the more I drank, the more time I would get to spend with him.

I just hoped I wasn't going to do anything stupid.

Unfortunately for me, stupid was beyond what I found when I woke up the next morning.

* * *

When I woke up the next morning, my head was killing me. I knew I went way over the line with the drinking and vowed never to get that drunk again unless I didn't have to do anything for the next week. I fell back down into my pillows and sighed.

That's when it hit me; something was off. I tried opening my eyes wider and then stopped in my tracks.

Someone was groaning beside me.

I shot up and opened my eyes wide; I was naked and not in my room. I looked beside me and had to stop myself from screaming.

Severus was also beside me, naked as well.

"Oh fuck!" I tried to keep my voice down but it didn't work; he was waking up.

He looked at me and didn't say anything for a minute. He was as confused as I was.

"We didn't get that drunk did we?" I asked him, jumping out of bed and starting to find my clothes. I didn't care about running around nude in front of him at the moment because my clothes were too important.

"Apparently we did." Was all he said.

I got dressed quickly and looked at the clock; we had twenty minutes till class.

"Shit!" I cursed again. I had all of my clothes on now and was heading towards the door. Before I left I turned around and looked at him; I knew this was going to be awkward later.

"Let's never get that drunk again." Then I left as quickly as I could.

I managed to get back to my room with fifteen minutes to spare; I had to use a spell to make my hair look clean and I tied it back quickly. I grabbed the first thing I could find and slipped it on then ran out the door.

I wouldn't make it for breakfast which, meant I wouldn't get to see Remus till lunch. I reminded myself to kill him when I got to talk to him in private. If he hadn't have told me to ask Severus out for I drink then I wouldn't have ended up waking up in his bed the next morning.

Not that I didn't mind the thought of spending the night with Severus it was just I didn't go that fast, never. I assumed he thought I was a slut or something now which, didn't really help me in anyway.

When I got the classroom, a few students already sat in their seats and I was thankful for it; I really didn't want to have to be only with Severus just yet.

Another thing the be thankful for was that Severus was keeping his head down and writing something on some papers. He looked like he was intentionally trying to keep his focus away from me.

"Miss Keeler your looking nice today!"

I turned and saw a Slytherin boy giving me a smirk; I tried to remember his name but I couldn't think of it. I didn't even both to wonder why he was smirking or anything like that. I just smiled and gave a thank you.

"Mr. Malfoy take your seat." I heard Severus say from his desk.

I walked over to my own desk and sat down in the seat; I stack of papers that needed to be graded sat in front of me. I sighed and pulled out a red quill and began to mark as Severus taught. It was like nothing had happened the night before.

"Here you go. All graded and ready to be handed out." I handed Severus the finished graded papers and smiled slightly. It took me two classes to finish marking all the papers he had given me but I got them done by lunch.

"Thank you. I will have more for you to mark in the next few classes."

I sighed as I headed towards the classroom door; he was trying to keep me busy so we could have as little social time as possible. I thought it would be better if I would just give up on him now; I had went on a date with him then slept with him and there wasn't much else from there.

Aside from falling in love.

At that time I thought it was impossible; I would never fall in love with Severus Snape. All I had was a simple crush that would now have no chance of going further.

Boy oh boy was I wrong.

* * *

"Remus this is all your fault!" I hissed at him while sitting down beside him to eat lunch.

"What is?" he looked at me confusingly.

"You told me to ask him out and now he thinks I am a slut!"

"A slut?" he looked away from me trying to put the pieces together. "Why would he…oh you didn't…"

"What else do you think I mean! We got overly drunk and I suppose one thing lead to another and when I woke up this morning I was in his bed!"

"Katharine," Remus began with a small chuckle. "Did he call you that outright? Did he tell you to get out? Did he yell at you?"

"Well…no but still he didn't have too!" I cried while planting my head in my hands.

We didn't talk anymore about it; Severus had shown up for lunch and I didn't want to embarrass myself anymore. I knew that somewhere down the road it would be brought up again, really it couldn't just be ignored.

Around this time I felt like giving up and just quitting at the end of the year; something like that couldn't really be on the table with your mentor. Like I said before, everything comes up somewhere down the road.

I kept my thoughts to myself for the rest of lunch, only talking to Remus when he talked to me and after the short conversation we would stop talking and then begin to eat again. I didn't mean to be rude but my mind felt like it was on a roller coaster ride.

"Katharine." Remus acknowledged me when I got up to head for class.

"Yes?" I turned to him; most of the students and teachers had left already.

"You look very nice today." I could tell he was holding back a grin.

Finally I looked down and realized what I had thrown on; a high waist black skirt that touched my mid thigh and a white blouse with puffed sleeves. I wasn't known to wear skirts so I probably appeared to everyone that I was dressing up.

Or that I looked like a slut.

"Great thanks." I muttered to him as I walked away.

Now Severus probably thought I was dressing up for him; now it all made sense while little Draco complimented me today and why Severus hushed him up.

Somehow my day just kept getting better and better.


	3. Chapter Two

I was the beauty and he was the beast. I was the rose and he was the thorn. I love him with all of my heart but he wanted to push me away. Now I would follow him into the darkness, hoping he would give me a glance.

* * *

Summary

A beautiful girl with a secret she needed to keep. Who would ever accept that Katharine Keeler was in love with Severus Snape? Not her friends and especially not her mother. After a year of passion and romance he pushes her away and instead of running she follows him to the darkest part of his life. She wants to be with him, she wants him to love her and she would do anything for him. Even if that meant risking her own life.

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**Dark - charmer . xo** : So it has been a long time since I have updated this story but I just go the inspiration all the sudden to write and finally finished this chapter! Hoping to get more up sooner then later but no promises! I really appreciate everyone adding this story to their alerts and favorites! Also a big thanks to **tibys**, **Kakashis-girl90**, **Jenea Cappoen**, **HeiressOfNothing** and **369 **for the reviews! I am sorry it took so long for the update especially to all of you who enjoyed the story so far so much that you reviewed!

Anyways, enjoy and any comments/suggestions you have are welcomed :)

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Now your probably wondering when I actually started loving him.

It began at the end of the year; Sirus Black was in Hogwarts and Harry Potter and his friends blindly went after him which, caused Severus to chase them. In the end Severus ended up a little bruised and Madame Pomfrey insisted that he be checked out.

When I arrived he was laying in a bed, grumbling to himself.

"What happened?" I asked, out of breath. I had ran all the way up when I heard from Dumbledore what had briefly happened. I just didn't get the whole story.

He glanced over at me. Before he could give me an answer, Madame Pomfrey walked over and fixed his pillow. "Severus is staying overnight for observation. Potter got him pretty good."

"Harry Potter attacked you!" I shouted.

"Miss Keeler!" Madame Pomfrey scolded. "If you want to stay in here keep your voice down!"

"Sorry Poppy." I apologized.

She seemed satisfied with the apology and walked away, leaving the two of us alone.

"Katharine, I advise you go and get some rest. You do have to monitor examinations tomorrow."

I sighed out loud; I had hoped to forget about that.

"Fine I will leave when you fall asleep. You need to monitor as well! Don't forget I am also doing checks during second period so I can't take you shift." I reminded.

"Of course."

We stayed silent for the rest of the time and I just looked out the window; things had gotten better between the two of us and by better I meant that we still talked. We never did talk about that night and I never wished too. Ever.

I wasn't sure for how long I had been staring out the window but when I looked down at Severus he was sound asleep.

It was then I started to love him.

In that moment I saw a different side of Severus Snape I am not sure if anyone else ever saw. His face wasn't scrunched up in anger like it normally was; he looked peaceful. Then I realized my hand was intertwined with his.

"Severus." I whispered.

I let go of his hand and stood up only to bend down again and give him a small kiss on the cheek. "Sleep tight." I told him quietly.

Before I left I turned around to give him one last look, to see if I had imagined the peaceful look on his face. He was not scowling and he did not look peaceful; he looked as if he was been hurt badly. All I saw was pain.

It was then when I started to realize that his heart wasn't cold and if was then I began to truly love him. I wasn't sure of his past or even most of his present but there was one thing that I knew, in my heart, for sure.

I wanted to be apart Severus Snape's life in one way or another.

* * *

When the summer had began and I headed back home I choose to meet up with my closest friend, Addison, instead of first heading to my mother's. I knew that she would be a little upset about it later but, I had much to tell Addison.

"Katharine!" she cried running over to me and wrapping me in a giant hug.

"Addy!" I hugged her back.

She pulled away quickly and I got a good look at her. I had always been envious of Addison's look; she was very tall, slim but still somehow managed to have curves. Her hair was a light, golden blond and her eyes were chocolate brown.

"You cut your hair." I observed. Normally her hair would be flowing down to her waist and now it was chopped off at the shoulders.

"Like it?" she asked doing a turn like she was some kind of model.

"Of course. Let's get out of here."

We headed to a small café that was just around the corner from the train station; I had been here a few times with Addison before I was leaving to get on the train but never when I was getting off the train. It was busier then usual; the summer rush.

"Coffee, two creams, one sugar." Addison told the waitress.

"Same except I'll take two sugars." The waitress nodded and walked away.

"So," Addison began when our coffees had arrived. "How was the year? Good I suppose?"

"Actually it was amazing!" I told her. "I have so much…"

"I am sure Snape was a git like always. Remember when he was teaching us that one year? He was a real asshole he was." she took another sip of her coffee and then looked back up to me. "Sorry you were saying?"

I knew then I couldn't tell Addison anything about my new found interest. She would ridicule me and then lecture me on what an ass Severus was. I thought on my feet quickly and made up some story off the top of my head. She seemed to buy it.

"Katharine you are going to make an amazing teacher." she told me. "I wish I had you instead of Snape. Class would have been much more amazing."

I finished my coffee and took out a bit of money from my pocket; it felt like she was rubbing salt in the wound. She didn't realize what she was doing and I knew that but, it still hurt. She didn't know Severus like I did.

"I have to go meet my mother now Addison. You know how she is."

"Of course I do." she took out a bit of money and threw it on the table. "That women is vile and I know she is your mother but I can't help it."

"Oh Addison." I sighed as we walked out to the café.

"The woman hates me!"

"No, she hates me." I told her.

"Are you kidding? She loves you! You're her precious daughter! The only mistake you made was the become an apprentice of Snape's which, is the only thing I agree with her about. But at least he hasn't turned you into a sour head."

"I'll see you around Addison."

I walked into an alleyway and flicked my wand. Suddenly I was sitting on the ground in front of a tall, dark wooded house. The house was tall and long; it looked like once a wealthy family might have lived within which, one use too. When my mother was younger her parents, who were both pure blooded, her, her brother and sister lived in the home. Back then, or from what I can tell from pictures, it use to be bright and lively but now it looked dead. My mother inherited the house after her parents died. First it was given to my aunt and uncle but unfortunately they were killed, so then it was given to my mother.

The first memory I had of the house was when I was five; me and my mother had played outside.

Well she watched while I played in the leaves; she didn't like to have fun with me like other mother's you saw in the park. Unlike other mothers who when their children fell they would comfort, she would tell me to pick myself up and brush it off.

Everyone said how my mother loved me and missed me but the truth was she cared the least bit about me.

I walked up to the door and knocked. It only took a minute or so for the door to open. Staring back at me was my mother. Her blond hair was pulled back in some fancy style and her dark eyes felt like they were peering into my soul. It was almost like looking into a mirror except your reflection was the opposite what you were.

"Katharine." she greeted with little emotion.

"Mother." I said back. "I met up with Addison at the train station, that's why I took so long."

We walked into the house; nothing had changed from the last time I had been there. The stairway across from the front door was still dark wood and looked a little dangerous and the living room that, was to the right of the stairway, still had the same, old like furniture it held when I was a child.

We headed into the living room and she sat down on the couch in the elegant way she always did. "So," she began, crossing her hands on her lap. "How was this year?"

I sat down on the chair and folded my hands the same way. "It was alright."

"You still like training under Severus Snape?"

"Of course he is a great teacher and he knows what he is talking about."

She sighed and it reminded me of myself. I had picked up many habits from her throughout my life. "Katharine you could have done anything and yet you choose to learn how to make potions under some man who could care less about anything but himself." she leaned back, her voice had a little bit of emotion in it; she was frustrated with me.

"Mom I love what I do and Severus is a good man."

"So now you are on a first name basis?" she questioned. My mother had the great ability to pick up on anything and everything. It was something that kept me from sneaking out with Addison when she would stay there for part of the summer.

"Why does that matter?" I couldn't help but snap slightly.

"So your sensitive about the topic. You been doing more then learning at Hogwarts dear?"

"Mother!"

"But Severus Snape? I really expected more of you."

I got up from the chair and headed towards the stairs; before I walked up I turned to her. She was staring at me coldly and I tried to hold back what I was going to say. "Mother," I started. "Go fuck yourself."

I stormed up the stairs knowing she wouldn't follow me, she never followed me when I talked back to her; she knew I needed to cool off. I realized in my youth that me and my mother were very similar, personality wise. The difference between me and her was, whenever I would have a child, I wouldn't treat that like they were nothing.

Well that wasn't all true. Despite my mother being overbearing, she was very protective of me. Someone had once told me that started when my father had left; she didn't want to loose me like she had lost him.

I had reached the top of the stairs and made my way to my old room; it sat at then end of the hall on the right hand side. I opened the door and saw my bags laid on my bed and my owl sat in her cage. I always sent over my stuff as I was leaving Hogwarts for the summer so it would be there when I arrived home.

My room hadn't changed much since I finished my years at Hogwarts; there was a large bed diagonal to the door and beside the bed was a large window. The window faced the backyard which, lead into a forest. On the walls hung pictures of me and Addison when we were younger and then their was one of my mother when she was pregnant with me.

I had always loved that picture because my mother looked happy and serine. She was so beautiful back then. Really she was beautiful now.

I walked over to the window and looked out. My mind began to wander to Severus; I missed him a lot. I missed Hogwarts a lot as well.

I looked over at my owl in her cage then over at the desk that her cage sat on. Quickly, I ran over and pulled out some paper and a quill then, began to write quickly.

"Take this to Severus." I told her while opening my window and letting her fly out.

Watching her fly away, I wondered if he would write back. Even if he didn't it still made me smile to think about him receiving the letter. What would he think? What would feel?

I closed my window and sat down on the bed; I didn't know what would happen this summer and really I didn't care that much. I just wanted to be back at Hogwarts, back with Severus and away from my mother.

* * *

Two days later, at around mid noon I received a reply.

I wasn't expecting him to write back, especially not so soon but nevertheless I was happy. I hadn't written much on my letter; just a simple hello how are you and I invited him out somewhere.

The reason I was going to give; I wanted to know if I was able to take over teaching some classes.

It was the perfect plan in my eyes. Tell him I wanted to meet him so I could ask him about classes and then somehow we end up talking more. He then invites me out again in a few days and then it goes on from there.

It was a win, win situation for me.

I opened the letter, eager to read his reply.

_Katharine, _

_I am doing quiet fine. I will gladly accept you invitation to dinner as friends since, it seems whatever you need to ask is important. _

_You may pick the place and time. _

_S. Snape_

I quickly pulled out my quill and wrote back a restaurant on the outskirts of the town; since I lived outside of town and preferred using muggle transportation while at my mother's house, it only made sense to pick a place close to me.

After I sent my owl back, I flopped onto my bed on my back and looked up at the ceiling; my mind was racing with thoughts of what could happen at dinner and after dinner. I didn't want to push the image of myself being easy like I did before. I refused to let that happen.

I had told him to meet me for dinner tonight which meant I needed to find an outfit for the date.

"It's only dinner. Not a date." I told myself. But I couldn't help it; he wasn't rejecting me like I thought he would. He was accepting every offer I made and he seem to generally enjoy my company.

I lay on my bed a little while longer, fantasying about what could happen tonight. Would he laugh with me? Offer to pay? Kiss me goodnight?

My little dating experience cause me to be like an over excited, twelve year old girl.

In the summer when boys use to ask me out I would, of course, need to ask my mother if I could go out with that night. That would lead to the question of who I was with and what we were going to do.

"Michael Wilson? Isn't he that dirty boy at the park?"

"Danny Richards? Didn't he get into a fight last week?"

I suppose my mother was trying to protect me from falling in love with a 'bad boy'. That lead me to always be afraid to even ask a boy out knowing, that my mother would only tell him to bugger off and scold me for even thinking the boy was acceptable.

My mother wasn't going to find out about me and Severus and even if she did, she couldn't stop me from going.

I pulled out a pair of dark wash jeans and a fancy black top that Addison had bought me for a going away gift; she always has good taste.

I pulled back my hair in the bun and did a turn in the mirror then ended up shaking my hair out; it looked better that way in my opinion. I looked at the clock and saw I had about two hours before I had to be at the restaurant. I decided to head back downstairs so I could call a cab and snack on something before going.

I hadn't eaten in a little bit.

"Where are you going?" my mother walked into the kitchen as I was digging into the fridge and pulling out a carton of juice. I walked over to the phone book while, sipping at the juice and picked up the phone.

"I am going out tonight."

"Where?" she asked back quickly.

I hung up the phone and groaned. "I am not sixteen years old anymore. Does it matter?"

She crossed her arms and didn't say anything while I called the cab; I was told they would be their in a half an hour.

"It does matter if you are going to be going out with some boy and not coming home till tomorrow. I know you think you know everything Katharine but you don't."

I put my hands on my hips and glared at her. "I am not a slut mom. Plus that I am not going out with some boy." I held back the urge to tell her I was going out with a man; that would cause more trouble. Unfortunately she caught me.

"Don't tell me your going out with Severus Snape!"

I stormed out of the room.

"I knew it! Katharine get back here now! Severus Snape will hurt you in the end! You don't know everything you need to know about him!" she grabbed my arm before I could go up the stairs to my room. "Your still a girl who doesn't know what she is getting herself into."

"No mother I am not a girl anymore and if you don't want me to leave then stop smoothing me here!" I screamed.

She looked confused causing me to groan loudly and throw my hands in the air.

"I am not going to be like my father and leave you unless you push me to that!"

She stood frozen and I ran up the stairs but didn't go to my room. I sat on the top where she couldn't see me and heard her stumble in the living room; I heard the cling of a glass and liquid pouring into it. I really didn't mean to hurt her like I did but it was hard not to get angry at her. She just pushed me too hard to be the way she wanted me to be.

It wasn't long before I heard the honk of the taxi cab; I ran down the stairs and out the door without so much as a goodbye.

I got into the taxi and instructed him where to go; I would get their with a half and hour to spare so I could looking around in the small shops that were close to the restaurant.

Then it hit me; I was going to get to see Severus after the short time we had been apart and I was excited. I felt like jumping up and down and screaming out the window. I tapped my fingers off the window in anticipation for tonight.

Severus Snape was going to see that I was the right woman for him. One way or another.


	4. Chapter Three

_I was the beauty and he was the beast. I was the rose and he was the thorn. I love him with all of my heart but he wanted to push me away. Now I would follow him into the darkness, hoping he would give me a glance._

* * *

**Summary**

_A beautiful girl with a secret she needed to keep. Who would ever accept that Katharine Keeler was in love with Severus Snape? Not her friends and especially not her mother. After a year of passion and romance he pushes her away and instead of running she follows him to the darkest part of his life. She wants to be with him, she wants him to love her and she would do anything for him. Even if that meant risking her own life._

* * *

**Dark - charmer . xo** : So finally another update! I thought this story was over with and then I re read it and fell in love with the idea all over again! I just keep think about how much Katharine is the character I put so much effort into creating and have thought so much about her story, I just couldn't give up! So here we go, I hope you all enjoy and thanks to everyone who is reading! Please review and tell me what you think!

* * *

Chapter Three

I tried to buy some time but I ended up entering the restaurant early anyways. I picked and table where I could be seen easily when Severus walked through the door. He showed up not too soon after me, probably expecting me to be late. I smiled brightly at him when he sat down.

"Katharine." he greeted, nodding his head towards me.

"Severus." I nodded back.

I was about to say something when the waitress arrived asking us what we would like to drink and soon after took our order. The restaurant was more like a fancy diner and there wasn't many people in the place at that moment.

As we sat in silence, I remembered when we went to the bar and told my self I needed to say something. I cleared my throat, remembering my plan.

"So I was thinking that perhaps I could take over teaching some classes?" I threw it out there like it was nothing but when he choked on his drink, I had a feeling it wouldn't go over so well. Already, my fairytale ending looked like it was going to be harder then I originally imagined.

When he finally looked up at me, I tried to explain myself. "It's just, I have been with you for so many years now and I think I am ready." I took a sip of my drink and continued. "I mean I know almost everything, I can clean, mark and I take over for you when you have to leave and children aren't dead!"

"Katharine there is going to be a lot going on this next year." he said after a short pause. "But I will speak to Dumbledore about the matter."

Then silence again. Luckily our food came not to long after and we began to eat quickly. Now I was out of ideas what to talk about; we had already went over the only thing I brought to the table. I couldn't let the night end in silence, I couldn't.

I racked my brain and went over what he said, looking for a topic. Finally I found one.

"So what is going on this year? By the sounds of it something big?"

He took a drink and placed his empty glass down. "Yes something big."

That was it? That's all he had to say? Now I felt like he was shooting down my conversation on purpose. Now I felt like an idiot as much as I looked like one. How could I have been so dumb? I took a small breath in and reminded myself that I couldn't act like the child I was being at that moment.

"You can't tell me?" I asked with a small smile.

He raised his eyebrow. "No I cannot."

I titled my head to the side and unintentionally pushed my lips together in what I am sure looked like a small pout. "Please?" I begged. Whenever someone said they couldn't tell me something that made me always want to know why they couldn't tell me and in turn know what it was they couldn't speak about.

He placed his fork and knife on his now finished food plate and didn't say another word.

I felt the urge to buy him a drink; at least then we had something to talk about well, do.

It wasn't until we got outside and began to walk towards nowhere in particular when I said something, not to him, more to myself. I crossed my arms and looked away from him. "I am such an idiot."

I thought he would say nothing. But he surprised me. "Your not."

I turned to him and uncrossed my arms. I didn't know if he wanted me just to shut up and leave or if he was being generally honest. He wasn't looking at me but I still stared at him. "You don't even know."

He turned to me now and stopped, I did the same. "Despite what you think, you are not an idiot. Your very…intelligent."

I didn't understand the pause but didn't push it. I had just received a compliment from Severus Snape. "So this thing you can't tell me about," I changed to topic quickly, turning to hide my redden cheeks. "Something to do with the whole school?"

He nodded.

I tapped my finger against my chin. "What about…other schools?"

He nodded again.

I began talking out loud, looking for ideas on what could be going on. I wasn't sure how long I had been going until Severus stopped me and glared down at me with his black eyes. "It's the Triwizard Tournament!"

"Oh." was all I could get out.

He started to walk again and I followed him in silence for about ten minutes until we reached a the middle of town where only few people were walking. I wasn't sure where we were going, I wasn't even sure if he knew where we were going.

"Look what are we doing?" I stopped him and he turned to me. When he didn't answer I let out a growl of frustration. "I just want to know if I am following you around for any reason or if I should just leave."

"Well _Katharine _if you don't want to follow me then you should leave. Unless you don't wish too." When he looked over at me again I felt my cheeks go hot and looked down at the ground. I heard him chuckle slightly and then he began to walk again.

I looked up and bit my lip, watching him walk away without looking back. "Damn that man." I muttered as I began to chase after him, yelling for him to wait up.

It didn't take long to reach our destination, it was a small pub wedged between two large buildings. As we stepped in and sat down at the bar I turned to him, a little confused on why we were even here. The bartender walked up at smiled at us then asked what we would drink.

Severus ordered a small glass of brandy and I ordered a something with vodka in it, wasn't quiet sure what it was exactly but it sounded good enough. When our drinks came, I took a sip, noting that the drink was very good, and watched the bartender walk away.

"So why are we here?" I didn't know which he would answer; why were we in a pub or why were in a muggle pub.

"I need a drink." he simply told me.

I didn't push it any further and downed my drink quickly and asked the bartender for another. I turned to Severus who had only finished half of his first drink. "Stop me when If I drink to much okay?"

"Sure." he took another minute to finish his drink and then he asked for another as well.

We small talked while drinking out drinks and I felt the world start to go fuzzy again; I finished my drink and then didn't ask for another. I turned to Severus who seemed to be just fine. I blinked a few times to keep my focus straight.

"I think I need to go home."

I stopped; my mother would be there and would surly have something to say about me being a little drunk walking through the door. Then again if I didn't come home she would have something to say about it. I asked the bartender for another drink.

"My mother is going to kill me." I downed the drink quickly trying to get the thought of her scowling out of my mind. It helped a little.

Severus snorted a laugh beside me and I glared at him. "What is so funny?" Normally I wouldn't have snapped at him like I did but the alcohol had its affects.

He raised his eyebrow and held back a smirk. "Your mother is going to be angry?"

Great. Now I sounded like a mommy's girl.

"Have you ever met my mother? She would like it better if I stayed home all the time and just rotted in the house. At least I would be safe and she HATES me being at Hogwarts training under you! She thinks that something is happening, that stupid woman. It's not like I am going to have sex…" I stopped and shook my head; my life story didn't really needed to be known but I couldn't stop. "Alright beside that one time; she thinks I am going to sleep with you like all the time."

He didn't have a chance to say something when the bartender walked up. "Sir I think your friend has had a little too much tonight. This will be her last drink."

"Of course." Severus told the man politely.

"Wait!" I yelled as the bartender walked away leaving one finally drink in front of me. "I'm good! I can handle more! I swear!" I downed the drink in front of me in one sip and then stood up only to find myself falling down. Luckily, Severus caught me in time.

He dragged me out of the bar after paying for our drinks and then help me stumble along the street.

"I'm sorry Severus. I didn't mean to get drunk." I told him truthfully. "You just get me nervous!"

He stared at me and then turned away. I tried to explain what I meant but that didn't really help either. "I mean I am nervous because I want to sleep with you!" I hiccuped then covered my mouth.

I didn't dare say anything more.

"Do you at least remember where you live?" he asked, obviously ignoring my comment from before. He didn't look at me either which, I was thankful for. I might have died on the spot if I met his eyes.

I thought for a minute and I drew a blank. "No."

He grumbled and lead me to a small inn that we passed as we headed to the bar. I fumbled for my wallet and put all the money I had in his hands. "That's for everything!" He took the money and shoved it into his pocket.

When we reached the inn, he got a room for the night and lead me quickly to the room; I am sure we got some strange looks but I think he just wanted me somewhere were I couldn't get in trouble.

The room was small but it would make do for sleeping. He shut the door behind him and lead me over to the bed where I fell onto my back and laughed loudly. "I am going to feel like an idiot in the morning!" I laughed at my own words.

When I notice Severus turning to leave I ran to the door, with a few stumbles, and stopped him from leaving. I pressed my back against the door so he couldn't open it. "Don't go." I told him.

"I need to go." he told me trying to get me away from the door.

"No you don't. Stay." I locked the door so no one would walk in.

"Katharine…" he began to say.

I put my finger to his lips and stopped him. Now I was feeling more confident then before, something I would probably regret in the morning. I ran my finger across his lips and he grabbed my hand and pushed my fingers away.

"Did you think I was joking when I said I wanted to sleep with you?"

"You are obviously too drunk to know what you are talking about!" he gave up on the door and stormed over to the bed, realizing I wasn't going to let him go so easily. I chased after and pushed him down so I was on top of him.

"Severus I know what I want and right now I want you." I leaned down and pressed my lips against his. He tried to push me away but in the end gave in. His hands traveled down my body to my hips which he pressed hard against him. I pulled him over so he was on top of me now, pinning me to the bed. When he looked at me, I knew half of him wanted to stop. But the other half was telling him a beautiful girl was laying in the bed, wanting him so keep going.

He leaned down and began to kiss my neck, I threw my head back and let out a loud moan.

I didn't wand him to stop and he didn't; it was almost like a dream that I forgot was actually happening. Every time he said my name, a fluttery feeling went through my stomach. He was saying my name, my name!

When it was done he wrapped his arms around me and then I heard his soft breathing. He was sleeping.

"Severus." I whisper cuddling into his embrace.

I felt safe in his arms and soon I began to drift away as well.

Nothing would stop it now; I was going to be with Severus for as long as we lived. He cared, he showed me that tonight. But then again maybe I was being a child, imagining his love for me. My mother would tell me that.

No, he cared and I vowed to follow him through everything. Everything.

* * *

When I woke up the next morning he was gone, a brief note saying he had to meet with Dumbledore to discuss some things. I found my clothes in a pile across from the bed and tried to ignore my headache; it wasn't as bad as the last time me and Severus slept together.

Suddenly the nights events came back to me and I couldn't help but giggled; I felt like a child stealing a cookie from the cookie jar.

I made my way home quickly, my address now clear in my head. When I arrived, not to my surprise, my mother sat in a chair in the living room; one leg crossed over the other and a cup of coffee in her hand. She didn't raised her eyes at me when I sat on the couch and didn't say a word. The silence was killing me and that was the point.

"Are you going to say something?" I asked her bluntly.

She placed her cup down on the table beside her and finally looked at me. "Katharine I can not chose who you do what with but Severus Snape is not the man you think he is."

"Mother, Severus is a gr…"

"Katharine you don't know what you are getting yourself into!" she stood up, her eyes filled with furry. "Severus Snape is not a good man!"

I jumped out now and began to storm out of the room; I wasn't going to have this argument with her, she didn't know Severus like I did. She didn't care about him like I did. She wasn't the one in bed with him last night.

No, I knew Severus and she didn't even know the beginning of what kind of man he was.

"Severus Snape is a Death Eater Katharine!"

Her words stopped me in my tracks; Severus was a Death Eater? No that couldn't be right, he couldn't be one of those monsters. I turned back to my mother, my eyes were probably as angry as her's.

"Why would you even make up such an awful lie mother!"

"Katharine," she stepped towards me and touched my arm. "Did you look at his wrist?"

I was about to answer when I realized I couldn't; his wrist was the last thing I was looking at and now that I thought about it, his wrist had never been in my view. Fear panged in my stomach. He couldn't be one of them, he wouldn't.

So I lied. "Yes mother I looked at his wrist and saw nothing." I turned and this time walked away and headed up to my room. I didn't have to look back to know she knew I was lying.

It didn't make sense to me at all. Why would Severus be a Death Eater? He taught at Hogwarts and Dumbledore isn't stupid! He would have figured it out. But then again Severus could be working for Dumbledore and just a very good liar.

I wanted to talk to Severus, send him an owl but I knew I couldn't just ask him out again. First off, I wanted him to ask me and second, I thought it was too soon. Then again I didn't really know much about any of this stuff.

I flopped back on my bed and covered my eyes, my headache now returning from the grave. I walked over quickly and shut the blinds in my room and then went under the covers of my bed, hoping to just sleep the hangover off. I had dozed off for what felt like forever when my mother was knocking on my door.

I looked at the clock to see only five minutes had passed. I groaned and answered the door.

"Yes?"

She held out a parchment to me and turned to walk away. I shut the door, not thanking her and opened the parchment slowly; it was from Dumbledore requesting that I come to Hogwarts within the next few weeks to discuss a matter with me. I threw the letter on the ground and few back into bed, reminding myself to write back when I woke up.

The setting sun made my eyes squint when I finally woke up. I stretched quickly and then decided to take a shower. I spelt of booze and sweat; after a day of sitting in that, the stench was not pretty. I grabbed a towel and showered slowly, letting my mind wake up fully.

"Write back to Dumbledore." I reminded myself while scrubbing my hair.

But Dumbledore made me think of Severus which, made me think of the possibility of him being a Death Eater. I didn't want to think about it but I know my mother and she wouldn't lie about something like that to me. She hated Severus but I knew she could tell I cared about him deeply.

But if I came to terms with my mother not lying, that would mean I was to assume Severus was a Death Eater.

I quickly stepped out of the shower and ran to my room to get dressed. I really didn't want to think about it anymore until I was able to ask Severus the truth. I knew it would eat at me so there was only one thing I could do.

I pulled out two letters and began to write. One was to Dumbledore setting a date, two weeks away, to meet with him at Hogwarts to discuss this matter. I figured the matter was about me teaching, meaning that is what Severus probably went and did when I woke up without him.

The last letter was to Severus, requesting that we meet somewhere private as soon as he could; The matter I needed to speak to him about was important. I knew he would think I was trying to get into bed with him but I wasn't, well that wasn't the real reason I was meeting with him.

But if Severus was a Death Eater, I had to figure out what I was going to do. Would I accept him for who he was or would I run to my mother, crying, admitting she was right. The hardest part of it all was that I really didn't know the answer to my own question.

I wanted my mother to be wrong, it would make things easier but something in the pit of my stomach told me she wasn't lying.

I sent out my owl, first to Severus and the last on to Dumbledore.

I felt like my life was going to change before I knew it. He had already started to change and I had that feeling that whatever happened with me and Severus, I would follow him through the dark. I am my mother saw that too, that I was on a mission to be with him no matter what. That is probably what scared her in the first place.

I looked up at the ceiling, praying for sleep to come again. For once, it actually did.


	5. Chapter Four

_ I was the beauty and he was the beast. I was the rose and he was the thorn. I love him with all of my heart but he wanted to push me away. Now I would follow him into the darkness, hoping he would give me a glance._

* * *

**Summary**

_A beautiful girl with a secret she needed to keep. Who would ever accept that Katharine Keeler was in love with Severus Snape? Not her friends and especially not her mother. After a year of passion and romance he pushes her away and instead of running she follows him to the darkest part of his life. She wants to be with him, she wants him to love her and she would do anything for him. Even if that meant risking her own life._

* * *

**Dark - charmer . xo** : So my chapter is up a little earlier then expected but I can't promise the other chapters will be up this quickly. Also this chapter is a little rusty because it is somewhat of a filler chapter. But I PROMISE they will get better once we enter Harry's fourth year :)

Also I have a **contest** on my profile for anyone who likes to draw, create story banners and anything else like that! The prizes are either for me to write a one-shot with your own character paired (or not) with whoever you like OR you can create a character to be places in Beauty in the Breakdown! Also the character WILL be a major-ish charcter! So PLEASE PLEASE enter :)

Anyways here is Chapter Four! Enjoy and please review and tell me what you think and/or any ideas you have that you think will go well with the story :)

Chapter Four

The only reply I received in a week was from Dumbledore, saying that he was happy I would be joining him and that he hopes that I am doing well; nothing from Severus. I was a little worried at first; did this mean that he was confirming my already suspicions? That didn't mean I didn't want to talk to him, no, I still wanted to hear it from his own mouth.

The more I thought about it though, the more I got use to the idea. Well I got use to the idea that he was still a good man inside, maybe he was lead down the wrong path in his life and couldn't escape? Maybe Dumbledore saw that? Then again maybe I was being played for a fool.

I couldn't see it though.

I could not picture Severus Snape sitting in his home, laughing at the evil deed he had done, tricking me to sleep with him. Well he didn't really trick me into it, I somewhat forced myself onto him but then again maybe it was his plan the whole time?

'…arine!'

"Katharine!"

I looked up and saw my mother standing in the doorway with her arms crossed; her was tied back into a long, elegant braid and she was wearing a pair of black dress pants with a simple white button up top. My mother had dressed up to go somewhere; the question was to where and with who.

"Date?" was the first question that came from my mouth.

She still stared me down for a minute before answering. "No, the Minister invited me for lunch today, said he wanted to catch up on old time." She uncrossed her arms and sighed. "Addison called and said she was going to be over soon, so I would get dressed."

She shut the door behind her when she left and I dove towards my closet; if Addison was going to be here soon, I needed to get dress and looked presentable because chances are, we would be going out for the day. My mother would have played twenty questions had it not been for her meeting with the Minster. Fudge knew my mother since she began school and had always fancied her. She never liked him from what I could tell but she still was courteous enough to meet with him. Sometimes he would give her gifts which, is why I think she goes. Plus she never gets out much anymore. My mother would prefer being alone, reading a book and sipping at wine then out with any friends she still had. Apparently before my dad left she was a social butterfly.

I always felt bad for my mother but at the same time loathed the ground she walked on. She thought I would want to be stuck in the house like her. She forced that life on me.

Quickly, I changed into a pair of jeans and a black blouse, tied my hair back and made it down the stairs as a car pulled up to my home. Addison jumped out of the car and I walked out the front door. She gave me a big hug and smiled wide when she looked me in the eye.

"We haven't talked since you got back! I was getting worried that you died!" She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards her car. "Your mother said you have been busy with other stuff, something from school she said. What could you possibly be doing now with your teaching?"

I buckled up quickly as Addison sped off from the house; Addison loved to drive fast all the time but for me, not so much. I didn't have a license but in my younger years, the few times I was able to go out with Addison, she let me drive. Now I just use magic at school and in the summer a cab. Addison's parents were muggles so they let her drive and let her go out like a real teenager; they were happy and excited to see what she learnt at Hogwarts over the years. I loved her parents; they were always so nice to me.

"Hello? Man you are really zoning out lately aren't you?" We were already in town when I snapped away from my thoughts. I looked over at Addison, her beautiful hair flying back from the wind. I always thought she looked like some goddess, even on her worst days.

"Sorry. I have been trying to figure out lessons for next year. I owled Snape asking him if I could teach some classes this coming year and then I got a letter from Dumbledore asking if we could meet and then I told him next week would be fine," I turned back to look out the window, wondering where we were going. "So it looks like I will be taking over some things this year."

She smiled. "You are one step closer from taking Snape's job!" Addison laughed and I managed to get out a fake giggle; I hated what she said about Severus but I didn't want her to think that I was sticking up for him, not yet at least.

We finally arrived at Addison's home; it was a pretty suburban home, the exact opposite of mine. I always like it better then my house. There were more things to do, more people to talk to and I would be able to get places without calling a cab.

We walked into the room and her mother welcomed me like her own daughter. Addison lived with her parents still, like I lived with my mother. The only difference was Addison had her own little apartment above the garage and I shared the whole house.

"Katharine, always good to see you, would you like a drink?" Helen asked while poking her head from the open kitchen. I smiled and declined the over. Addison and I began to make our way to the apartment which, connected with the upstairs. We sat down on her bed and she pulled some bags from underneath. Addison dumped the contents of the bags out on our laps and, not surprisingly, I saw a large pile of clothes before me.

"So I found some stuff you might like too." She tossed some clothes and me and told me to try them on. They all fit perfectly, something else that didn't surprise me. Addison and I had been friends for as long as I could remember; we knew almost everything about each other.

"So you wanna hear something?" Addison asked as I sat on the bed in my original outfit.

"Sure." I shrugged.

"I met a guy." I looked up at her, at first I was probably looking at her like a fish and then I smiled. When Addison said she 'met a guy' I knew this guy must be something special. Addison never said anything like that about any of her flings.

"Well tell me about him!"

The guy sounded perfect; tan, golden blond hair and sweet blue eyes. From the sounds of it, he treated her like royalty. Addison deserved it all, men liked to use her because they thought she was hot. They assumed she could just be a one night stand and be done with her. Sure Addison liked to have fun but I know she hates to be used. I couldn't help but want to tell her about Severus and I but I knew she wouldn't have the same reaction I did for her new found love.

"He is just so amazing Katharine! I want you to meet him sometime. He is away on business right now but will be back sometime. I am not sure if it will be before summer ends though."

"Well we will plan something. I want to approve of this man even though he sounds great already!" We laughed together and then let out a sigh; all of our lives we have been waiting to get married and have kids and now the pieces of our lives were starting to fall into place.

"Have you met anyone Katharine?" Addison sat up and looked at me.

"No." I lied.

"I don't understand how you can't, Katharine you are extremely intelligent and so beautiful! I think your standards are way too high!" she joked and then turned her attention back to the clothes, holding up a dress she bought to impress her new man.

If Addison knew the truth, she wouldn't be saying that. She would be saying the exact opposite; that my standards were too low. I loved Addison to bits but I couldn't tell her the truth, at least not yet.

* * *

When I returned home my mother still was not back; it was dark and I figured she must have been out drinking with the Minister and his friends. My mother could not say no to him, she didn't want for him to think she didn't enjoy spending time with him.

I was disappointed to see that no letter had arrived yet from Severus; maybe he was busy trying to sort out what I would be teaching with Dumbledore and just hadn't had time to respond. Then again maybe he did not want to respond.

I let the bag of clothes in my hand drop to the floor and began to get changed; Severus would want to respond and I was being silly thinking that he wouldn't. He showed me affection when we were together and he laughed at my jokes. He looked at me when he thought I wouldn't notice and respected me.

As I shut off the lights in my room I heard the front door open and shut. I closed my eyes, pretending to be asleep but when my mother opened the door and turned on the light, I knew I couldn't escape her. Her hair was now down and she was leaning against the door frame, looking moderately drunk.

"The Minister gave me tickets to go see the Quidditich World Cup," She tried pushing herself off the door frame but landed back on it. "Want to go?"

I tried to find some way to say no but when I looked at her I know I couldn't. "Sure, Addison gave me some new clothes so I will have something nice to wear."

This time she successfully pushed herself off the door with a crooked smile. "Perfect."

I listened as my mother stumbled down the hall to her room and landed on her bed. I didn't hear any other movement so I figured she had kept herself awake just to ask me to join her. Perhaps she knew I couldn't say no when she was like that. Now I was stuck going with her.

Then again, I had a little over a month to figure out a reason I could go.

I walked over and turned out the light on my room again and snuggled into the covers. I tried to sleep but for awhile I couldn't; I laid in the bed thinking about everything that was going on. My mind was on overdrive. Finally after what was probably an hour or two, my mind succumbed to the peacefulness of sleep.

* * *

After that, I couldn't sleep for two days; Severus still hadn't written back. My mother just snorted at my zombie like state and made a comment on how I was such a child, acting the way I was because a boy didn't call me back.

There was a good reason for Severus not replying sooner, I knew there was.

But then, my prayers were answered when I heard the small tapping on my bedroom window. I opened it up and took the letter quickly from Severus's owl and opened it wondering what he said. He told me that he had been busy with work and that we could meet after the meeting with Dumbledore to talk.

I giggled like a school girl and wrote back, telling him not to worry about taking his time writing back, that I had been busy as well. It was a total lie, but I couldn't have him thinking that I was waiting around for his letter.

It only took a few minutes for me to remember why I exactly wanted to talk to him in the first place. I had pushed it out of my mind and with good reason but now I would have to figure out what exactly I was going to say to him. I don't think I could come out and ask him but that was the only thing I could think of doing.

The few days went by quickly and soon I found myself landing in front of Hogwarts castle. I walked as fast as I could, excited to see Severus but almost just as excited to hear if I was teaching classes. At first, it was just a ploy to talk to Severus but the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. Addison was right; I was one step closer to becoming a teacher.

I finally reached Dumbledore's office and stopped when I heard Dumbledore and Severus muttering words to each other. I was about to lean my ear against the door when it opened and I was greeted by Severus. I held back throwing myself at him and gave a small polite smile instead. Severus shut the door behind me and we sat down at the chairs in front of Dumbledore's desk.

"Now Miss Keeler..." he stopped and held out a bowl of candy to me which I shook my head no to and he continued. "Severus here tells me you think you are ready to teach some classes of your own."

I waited to see if he continued and when he didn't I let out a small "Yes."

"Well Severus, do you think Miss Keeler is ready to take on some classes of her own?"

I looked over at him, wondering what he would say. He told Dumbledore about me wanting to teach classes so that had to mean something. Even still, I was nervous that he would say something bad like I wasn't ready and maybe add in that I will never be.

"Miss Keeler's skills are exceptional. I believe her taking on a class would be acceptable."

I smiled brightly; Severus did think I was good enough and now Dumbledore couldn't say no.

"Well Miss Keeler," Dumbledore look from Severus to me. "Perhaps you should take on first year students and still assist Severus when you can. Then after a month, we shall have someone sit in on your class to see how you are doing."

"Yes of course." I said not wanting to seem too overjoyed, that would have to wait until after.

"Perhaps Severus, you can help Miss Keeler with arranging a lesson plan. I am sure she will need a bit of help figuring out what to do." I swore I saw a twinkle in his eyes but when I looked again, I saw nothing.

"Of course Head Master." He stood up and looked to me. I followed his suit and thanked Dumbledore.

"Enjoy your summer." Dumbledore added when he waved goodbye to us.

I waited until we reached the front gates of the castle to speak. He didn't say anything the whole way either and I couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking; every time I looked over at him, he would turn to me and I would have to turn away. It seemed the only time I could find my confidence around him was when I was drunk.

"Thank you." I told him as we headed towards Hogsmeade.

"I only spoke the truth; there is nothing to thank me for." He explained simply.

"Yes but you went to Dumbledore in the first place about it. If you didn't go to him then none of this would have happened in the first place." He stopped and looked at me; I know found myself able to look at him straight in the eye. A warm feeling that I was becoming my old self again hit me. Before I fell for him, I use to be able to talk to him like an equal, not like some little girl in love.

"I suppose," he began walking again. "You are correct about that."

"I know I am."

There was more silence for a few more minutes and then I stopped him this time. He looked at me curiously and I put my hands on my hips and tilted my head slightly to look at him. "Is there any place we can go so we can get my lesson plan started? I don't think us sitting in a bar would help much."

He looked deep in thought and then pulled out his wand.

"Hold onto my arm." He instructed.

Before I knew it we had landed in an alley way that was not too far off from the street; as we walked out I noticed that all the houses were brick and identical to each other. I couldn't look anymore as Severus instructed me to follow him. We continued down the street quickly and soon enough we had walked up the step to one of the identical homes. Severus pulled out the key and opened the door, letting me walk in first.

"This is where you live?" I asked when he shut the door behind me.

"Obviously." He snorted while taking the lead.

The room I was standing in was dim; the only thing letting light in was a small window. Every wall of the room was filled with books and a light filled with candles hung from the ceiling. I didn't even notice there was a door in the room until he had opened it and instructed me to follow.

We walked up and narrow staircase that lead to a small upstairs with three doors; one directly in front of us, one to the left and one to the right. He took me into the room directly in front of us and that's when I realized it was his bedroom. It was small, simple and dim lighted like the other rooms.

"Uh..." I didn't know what to say. I didn't understand why he brought me up here exactly; did he think we were going to have sex. "Severus why did you bring me up here?"

He didn't say anything but turned to me and looked like he was waiting for something.

"I don't know what you want me to do."

He stared at me for a second more and then turned away; it was like he wanted to say something but couldn't get it out. I took a step forward towards him so I was almost inches away from him; he refused to look at me. It looked like he was embarrassed about something. Then it was like something clicked in my brain.

"Severus do you want to sleep with me?" I didn't mean to sound so blunt about it but it was the only way that it could have came out.

"Miss Keeler..."

"Katharine." I corrected him. He still wasn't looking at me; his head was now turned to the wall to his left. I didn't think about it before but Severus probably didn't have much experience with women; I found him extremely handsome but other people probably wouldn't. But then again I probably found him extremely handsome because I loved him.

"Katharine, I do not think you would want to do that."

I was caught a little off guard but shot back. "Severus, I have slept with you twice before! What makes you think that I don't want too?"

He didn't speak again.

Right, both of the times I slept with him, I was drunk out of my mind. The first time, I didn't even remember anything happening but the second time, I remembered most of it and I loved every second that I could remember.

I had to think quickly, to show him that I wanted it all and more from him. My confidence kicked in and I reached up, pulled myself closer and gently placed my lips on his. He was frozen in the spot for a second and then I felt him kiss me back. We stood there kissing for a few minutes and then I pulled away.

"Severus I wanted to be with you both of those times and I would do it again with you." I shook my head and continued. "I know you might not believe that now but it's the truth. I want to prove that to you."

I didn't have to say more; he pulled me into another breathtaking kiss and tossed me on the bed with him on top of me. I didn't plan on anything happening today but as it would seem, every time we got alone together, something happened.

It was more amazing then when I was drunk; it was everything that I wanted to feel from him.

I wasn't sure how many times but when we stopped, he sat over me and brushed my hair away from my face, a gesture I felt was always loving and warm. I looked up at him with a small smile, holding back a 'told you so'. He laid back down and pulled me close against.

I couldn't help closing my eyes and drifted off; it was just too peaceful to pass up.


	6. Chapter Five

_ I was the beauty and he was the beast. I was the rose and he was the thorn. I love him with all of my heart but he wanted to push me away. Now I would follow him into the darkness, hoping he would give me a glance._

* * *

**Summary**

_A beautiful girl with a secret she needed to keep. Who would ever accept that Katharine Keeler was in love with Severus Snape? Not her friends and especially not her mother. After a year of passion and romance he pushes her away and instead of running she follows him to the darkest part of his life. She wants to be with him, she wants him to love her and she would do anything for him. Even if that meant risking her own life._

* * *

**Dark - charmer . xo** : So first off I must apologize for this chapter; it is short and not as well done as the other chapters. It's a filler chapter and it was excruciating to write but I wanted to get it done so I can finally update the story and continue on into the better parts that I have planned. Within the next chapter or two it should pick up, I promise.

Also just reminding everyone about the contest I have posted on my profile! The prize is a pretty good one (at least I think so). Oh also I have a poll in my profile where you can vote for you favorite OC out of all of my stories :)

Anyways lets get on with the chapter!

* * *

Chapter Five

My eyes slowly began to open and I cuddled into the blanket more, wanting to fall back into the peaceful sleep but soon enough, my eyes were open and I was, for the most part, awake. It was then that it dawned on me where I was and what had happened. A fluttery feeling went through my stomach and that's when I noticed Severus was not there.

I quickly got dressed into the same clothes I had on before and headed back down the stairs that I had came up.

He was sitting in a chair, peacefully reading a book and looked up as I entered the room.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"It's about eight o clock." He looked back down at his book.

I looked towards the small window and saw that the sun appeared to be just coming up. I walked towards Severus as he flipped the page of his book. "I slept that long?"

"It appears so." He didn't bother looking up at me to answer.

I sighed as he ignored me and went to the front door to get some fresh air; I wasn't used to being cooped up in such a small place after all. When I reached the step, I noticed a paper sitting in the mail box and grabbed it to bring in. When I caught site of the first headline it read something about a Death Eater attack many years ago and how the people who lost their lives fighting would be remembered.

"Death Eaters..." My voice trailed off as the memory of what I originally wanted to ask Severus came back to me.

I quickly shut the door behind me and went into the house where I laid the paper down on a little side table and turned my attention back to Severus. He was so absorbed in his book, he didn't even notice I was standing there until I snapped my fingers at him.

"Yes?" he didn't even bother to close the book.

"Let me see your wrist." He raised an eyebrow at me but never the less held out his right arm.

I narrowed my eyes and grabbed out for his left wrist when he pulled back and set his book down. Now I had his attention as he walked towards me with a slight glare on his face. I wasn't sure if he was angry with me or angry with the fact I was trying to prove.

"So it's true then? My mother wasn't lying?"

He glare intensified and he let out a snort. "Your mother obviously doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut."

I could have taken offensive to what he said, my mother being the one he insulted but, he was right and I was thankful that she didn't keep her mouth shut. When I told him this, he grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to him.

"Did your mother also tell you that I am a double agent? Risking my life everyday so you can all get the information you need?" He let go of my arm finally and rolled up his sleeve, exposing the faint outline of what I assumed was the Dark Mark. "This is what you are looking for? So now I suppose you're going to take your leave now Miss Keeler?"

"First off," I yanked down the sleeve of his shirt. "It's Katharine and secondly I don't care." His expression turned to a confused one and with a sigh, I continued. "If you are doing this for us then I shouldn't judge you based on what you have done. You are trying to be a hero in a time that we need as many heroes as we can get."

I leaned my head up and kissed him lightly on the lips. "So it doesn't matter."

One may wonder why I was being so accepting on him; like Severus told me, he had the most dangerous job of all and for what? To give us information we needed if and when You Know Who returns. Then here my mother was, spitting in his face about it.

"I am sorry I brought it up. Now are you hungry?" I put a smile on my face but he seemed a little confused about what had just happened. When he finally got out a 'yes', I told him to direct me towards the kitchen. His cupboards were practically empty and so was his fridge. I managed to find some eggs that still looked good and bacon that was only a day or two past the expiry date.

"You need to go grocery shopping." I told him while sitting down and eating breakfast with him; he ate slowly, surely taking in that he was actually eating breakfast for once. As long as I knew Severus Snape, I knew he usually wasn't in the mood for breakfast.

"I just went a few weeks ago."

"Well you need to go again. Are you doing anything today?"

He grumbled. "I am not going to shop for groceries to occupy myself for the day."

"Exactly, that is why I am coming with you." I rinsed my plate off and left it in the sink that had a few dishes in it. "Now I just need to go back to my house to shower and get changed. I shouldn't be longer than a half an hour."

I didn't wait for a response this time; I left quickly and apparated to my home where I found my mother looking out the window. She looked like she hadn't slept all night but when she saw me, her eyes brightened. "Katharine!"

I ran inside the house before she could come out.

"Where have you been?" the joy and brightness in her tone and eyes were gone and now she looked angry and generally upset which, I could understand, if I was thirteen years old. But I was a grown woman and had the right to be out all night if I wanted to.

"Mom I was just with a friend. I need to shower; I am going to be going out again today." I tried getting up the stairs before her words stopped me.

"A friend or Severus Snape?"

I turned to her briefly and narrowed my eyes. "Mother, Severus IS a friend of mine. So it would be both."

I didn't want to waste any more time and went up to shower quickly and to pick out an outfit for the day; it was a little warm so I grabbed a pair of jean shorts with a white button up blouse. I let my hair hang loose but kept a hair tie on my wrist just in case.

When I ran down the stairs my mother stopped me again. "Did you ask him?"

"About what?" I questioned, a little confused.

"His mark Katharine!" she crossed her arms and her face told me she didn't think I did. The smirk was gone when I explained to her that I had asked and knew that he was a double agent.

"So he says." She snorted.

"Mother let's have this discussion later and to answer your question before you ask, yes I might not come home again tonight." I didn't want to spend any more time around her and left the house and apparated again to Severus's house. I thought he would have headed for the hills but, to my surprise, he was waiting patiently for me.

"Ready to go?" I smiled wide at him.

He stood up and walked to his front door, holding it open for me. "Let's go then shall we?"

Severus didn't look to happy to go but still he lead me to the small supermarket a few blocks away. I grabbed a cart and walked into the store with him right on my trail. I figure Severus didn't come here much but people said their hellos to him and then looked at me.

"Severus you finally got yourself a girlfriend! What a beautiful girl at that!" An older man said with a wide grin. He turned to me when Severus didn't say anything and gave me a nod. "The name is Hank and what would yours be?"

"I am Katharine." I held out my hand for him to shake. When he did he gave Severus a nudge.

"You keep this one happy. Don't go breaking his heart!" Hank laughed.

I told him there was no way that was happening and we left to finally start our shopping. Severus didn't look too pleased about what Hank said so I tried getting him to focus on what he needed at the house. We went to produce first and he stopped me.

"I won't eat any of this."

"Yes you will. As long as I am the one cooking you will be getting full meals and these," I held up a potato. "We will need."

There was no more argument from him; I didn't intentionally mean to invade his home like I was beginning to do but he didn't make a fuss about it so I didn't see any issues. It took us a little bit to get around the whole store and when the cart was filled up, I made my way to the checkout.

"Okay so I am going to be paying half." I pulled out some money from my pocket.

"No you're not." He began to pull out his money and he held it out to me. When I only took half he grumbled at me. "Katharine this is my stuff and I will not having you buy it for me!"

"Look, I picked out most of the stuff anyways! Plus if I am going to be at your house all the time, I am going to need to eat!" It took me a moment to figure out why he was giving me a funny look. As I thought back to what I had just said I realized that I had told him I was going to be with him a lot or at least that is what I had planned to do. My cheeks turned a rose color and before I could say anything, the cashier, who had packed everything in bags already, held out his hand for the money. I was waiting for Severus to push out his hand of money in front of me but when he didn't I gave the cashier Severus's half and paid the remainder.

As we walked out of the store and began to head back to Severus's house I noticed that he had shoved the rest of his money back into his pocket and never touched it after that.

* * *

I didn't realize how quickly things had moved until I found myself reaching for toiletries to bring to Severus's home. It had been only a week since Severus and I were first together and so far I had only spent one night at my own home. He hadn't told me to leave or to not cook dinner every night; he hadn't even asked when I was going to be going home.

I quickly threw shampoo and conditioner into the buggy and then grabbed some body wash as well as a few other things.

It wasn't like I was permanently moving in but it was easier to take a shower at his place instead of popping back to my place and then going back to his after I was finished. Still, I wanted to make sure it was okay that I put the stuff in the bathroom rather than just putting it there.

I asked and all he did was nod, occupied with a book like usual.

Setting the stuff in the small shower was odd; everything about the situation was odd, almost unreal. I never expected Severus to be interested in me. I just figured he always wanted to have someone more confident and well a little uptight, like him. I sat on the closed toilet and sighed; he really did try though, to impress I mean. Looking in the garbage in the bathroom, you could see at least three bottles of conditioner. I knew he heard what everyone said about him and I knew somewhere inside he wanted to change.

But the fact was, I was happy with who he was.

I sighed again and went to get some paper he had laying around. I grabbed a quill and sat at the kitchen table and called him in.

"I need to figure out a lesson plan for the first years. Do you mind helping?"

He sat down across from me. When he didn't say anything I started to write out the first day which would simply be introductions and explaining what we would be doing all year. Severus snorted when he read this and I looked over at him questioningly.

"Are you not going to ask them to do anything on the first day?"

"Severus they are first years." I said. "They don't know anything."

Severus let out a snort again. "I knew things."

I had turned back to my lesson plan when he had said that; I thumped my fist against the table and gave him a look. "I highly doubt that."

"Oh?" he raised his eyebrow.

"You live in a muggle neighbourhood and you're a half blood; chances are that whoever was the muggle of your parents didn't want you to have anything to do with magic or else you would have been living somewhere else throughout your childhood." When he didn't respond I turn back to my lesson plan once again, trying to figure things out when his voice stopped me.

"I had forgotten for a second you were a Ravenclaw." I didn't glance up this time; I just smiled to myself and continued to write.

"Yes and there is a reason for that. Now tell me how this sounds..."

It didn't strike me until we were heading to bed that night that Severus had remembered something about me, something seeming so small to someone else felt so big to me. Severus was shy in his own way and when the rare occasion came where I receive some form of compliment, my heart fluttered.

I rolled over and looked at him before he shut the lights off and kissed him gently on the lips. When I pulled away with a small smile, I saw a faint grin forming on his lips and he pulled me into a breath taking kiss.

"Severus..." he was now looking up at me from my stomach. "Do you think your falling in love with me?"

He looked confused and then kissed my stomach. "Katharine let's talk about this later." And then he resumed what he had set out to do.

I told myself that it would happen, that we would talk about it, and that he would tell me that he was falling for me hard. But when I woke up the next morning he left to do some errands and then I had forgotten about the question all together. I only remembered it after Severus had fallen asleep that night and the lights were off.

That's when I had come to the conclusion that we would probably never have that talk and somehow I was okay with that.

For some reason I didn't care, I was convinced Severus was in love with me. He had to be.

He just had to be.


End file.
